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“You didn’t sound Black over the phone.” He was bold in his assumption, but I wasn’t surprised. I’d experienced similar reactions before. I was slightly amused by his bewilderment. He looked let down, like a man set up on a blind date with an awful girl.
As familiar as his reaction was, I was not sure of how to respond. True, our communication to that point had been by means of phone. He’d undoubtedly made presumptions, which were proving to be untrue.
He loosely motioned toward a chair. Ich setzte mich hin. He began a soft interrogation.
“Woher kommst du? Wo bist du zur Schule gegangen?” then he blurted out his real dilemma: Why do you sound white?
I should’ve been angry as he went on to describe he didn’t detect any of the colloquialisms he found common in Black people’s speech in our phone conversations. I wasn’t angry because it wasn’t my struggle. Ich weiss, wer ich bin.
What he indicated was, “You’re not who you’re meant to be.” but I was exactly who I was meant to be. He couldn’t fit me within the boundaries of his narrow assumptions. My black skin coupled with my “white” voice hijacked his preconceived conclusion. I wasn’t what he’d expected.
Have you ever made an assumption about someone based on the color of their skin or culture and your assumption [turned out to be] false?
Ich habe. We’re human. lots of of us make assumptions based on race. Thankfully, I don’t have to respond according to what other people assume about me. I don’t find my worth in how other people see me or expect me to act based on my skin color.
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Sadly, we live in a world where some people don’t get past the color of my skin to find out who I really am. I can’t be summed up based on skin color alone. I’m not that simple. I’ve been molded by experiences, thoughts, and beliefs, which have shaped how I choose to interpret life.
He wanted to place me in a box. When we place people in boxes we miss out. We don’t experience the fullness of who they are because we’re closed off to seeing anything outside our assumptions. drawing conclusions about people based on race or ethnicity is a form of racism. An ugly, inflammatory word that’s associated with hatred. no one wants to be called a racist. and I don’t believe a lot of people are racist.
But racism covers a broad spectrum. We’ve narrowed it to the extreme. You don’t have to be a card-carrying member of the KKK or drive a car into a crowd of protestors to be guilty of thinking prejudicial thoughts, i.e. assumptions.
We can’t step get to the root of racism without challenging our assumptions.
Look at other people the way you want them to look at you. Ask the hard questions, even if you think it makes you look like a racist. Can it be any a lot more prejudicial than asking me if:
all five of my children biologically belong to my husband and me?
I’ve tried one of the Black churches across town?
“colored” babies look white when they’re born?
Or admitting:
you couldn’t tell I was Black over the phone.
you grew up in the ghetto just like I did.
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Or telling me:
you often forget I’m Black.
I’m not like other Black people.
my house looks just like a white person’s on the inside.
you’re not racist because one of your best friends in high school was Black.
Or assuming:
my kid qualifies for a need-based scholarship before collecting any financial information.
Does making one of these assumptions or asking one of these questions make you a racist? My hunch is, no, it doesn’t. I shouldn’t anymore assume someone is racist on the basis of a question combined with their skin color than others must assume how I must speak, worship, or decorate my house on the basis of my skin color.
My skin–like how I talk, where I go to church, and how I raise my kids–is just one aspect of who I am. It doesn’t figure out my values or perspective. It doesn’t define me. Ich tue. My being is rooted in something much deeper than the tint of my skin.
Asking questions and seeking answers do not make you a racist. What I hope is it makes us less likely to generalize and assume.
Racism isn’t special to black and white. It’s been around considering that the beginning of time and is present in all cultures. When we minimize people to nEs ist viel mehr als die Hautfarbe, es ist zu unserem Nachteil. Wir verpassen. Wir erlauben uns nicht, den Reichtum zu schätzen, der über die Haut hinausgeht. Ich bin immer noch amüsiert, wenn ich jemanden treffe, und ich kann spüren, dass sie versuchen, einen Platz für mich innerhalb der Grenzen ihrer Annahmen zu finden.
Aber ich lächle immer noch und hoffe immer noch, dass unsere Begegnung sie zwingen wird, ihre Annahmen herauszufordern und über die Haut hinaus zu schauen und vielleicht etwas mehr zu entdecken.
Verwandte Was ist Pankreatitis?
Welche Ihrer vorgefassten Vorstellungen über jemanden, der auf Hautfarbe oder Kultur basiert, wurde widerlegt?
Sheila Qualls ist eine ehemalige zivile Journalistin und Redakteurin der preisgekrönten Zeitung der US-Armee, The Cannoneer. Sheila ist jetzt eine Mutter, Rednerin und Schriftstellerin zu Hause. Sheila schreibt aus der Erfahrung von 30 Jahren Ehe, fünf Kindern, Homeschooling, 10 Unternehmensbewegungen, zwei Hunden und einem Frettchen. (Mögen sie in Frieden ruhen.) Sie inspiriert Frauen, indem sie ihnen durch ein Fenster aus Humor und Transparenz einen Blick in ihre Welt gibt, einen unangenehmen Moment nach dem anderen. Sie hilft Frauen, die emotionalen Wendungen des Lebens zu navigieren, damit sie die authentischen Frauen sein können, die Gott sie nannte. Sie können ihr auf Facebook oder in ihrem Blog unter http://www.sheilaqualls.com folgen.
